Today is my first day home from another whirlwind excursion to the International Mr. Leather event in Chicago. Having experienced six days of wall to wall high-energy men, intimacy, emotion, inspiration, love and brotherhood on so many levels it’s a lot to turn off all at once. I am experiencing a strong and poignant level of event drop this year.
Like the years I’ve attended before this event brings thousands of leather, fetish and kink minded people from all over the world together for several days of shopping at the the leather fetish gear market, the big kahuna of Mr. Leather title competitions, seminars for learning, sidebar club meet ups, dance parties and indeed lots of opportunity for sex with like minded people.
While many come primarily for the sex, the opportunity to dress up in their gear and to party without boundaries for days on end there is a lot more to it for those who slow it down a notch. There is here a true and rich brotherhood, there is a community, a family and a deep lineage of history to sink your toes into. Fact is under the surface there exists a healthy level of spiritual journey and growth, being of service to others and a meaningful activism going on among the throngs of sweaty leather clad men in the halls.
Aside from some deep swim in the pool of decadent fun, the latter paragraph really encapsulates much of what I gain from the event each year. Like years before I listened to the impassioned speeches of contestants during the competition. I always learn from the wide and varied viewpoints and expressions of community thrown down here.
Sometimes it’s intimidating and challenging, other times heart warming and validating. I am always inspired deeply by the commitment service to others and learning more about the hopes, the dreams and the challenges of our vast variety of inner tribes that complete what is known as the leather fetish and kink community.
Just like in years past after the experience I have come home to ask myself, what am I doing to push the ball forward? What am I doing to live my most authentic self and carry a torch for my brothers and sisters? What am I doing to suit up and show up to light the path for those coming up behind me?
It’s not just about those coming up behind though, but those I stand beside. At 55 years old today I am on the younger end of the group who came of sexual age during the AIDS crisis. By the grace of God I managed to come out of it alive but a vast swath of my generation of gay men didn’t survive to grow old with. These multitudes of gay men aren’t here to share with one another about life’s struggles, victories, our hope and successes in how to thrive as we age.
As we chart our own path to growing older gay with fewer guides and examples, we ourselves must chart our own with the help of our brothers and the few men ahead of us who still stand. More important we must gather our collective experiences to light the path we walk for those on the way.
The answer to the question I’ve been asking myself for years, “what am I doing” came to me this morning. It’s time to start a channel of message, inspiration and growth dedicated to sharing the experience, strength and hope of myself and those in our community. It’s called GrowingOlderGay.
While I feel young at heart and make the conscious choices to spend my days rowing deep in the meadows of beautiful people, places and things as one who is younger might do, the genuine fact is that I am growing older. I feel it and I see it. I am constantly working on accepting it.
The process cannot be stopped but we can choose to live bold and golden like the beautiful unicorns we are, taking healthy action steps and keeping a young spirited walk in our days that make each one count.
In the coming weeks, months and hopefully years GrowingOlderGay will be a channel of action and passion to help light the path for my fellow travelers. I promise to bring my honesty, authenticity, my open mind, a willingness to listen, learn and to share as well as showcase the viewpoints and experiences of as many fellow travelers as I can find.
GrowingOlderGay will talk about LGBTQ+ health, sexuality, relationships, recovery, travel, and a whole lot of other topics of both our passions and our challenges as we age. Want to come along?
Smoker of fine tires, eater of natural foods, connoisseur of aromatic leathers, pusher of limits.