There are plenty of review sites and narratives out there for selecting the right doctor. We’re not talking about looking for the best rated, best bet, meets all my needs medical practice that webMD, Yelp, or ZocDoc might serve up. We’re talking about the sex positive doctor you need in your life if your sex life is active, spicy, or just downright raucous.
Sex Positive = Specific Needs
The term “sex positive” is the latest cleaned up mainstream way of saying I enthusiastically play with several sex partners in a lot of ways and I love it. It’s part of who I am and how I live. Now that you’ve gotten honest with yourself and hopefully gotten over the shame many carry around that, now you need a good medical practice in your life that aligns with who you are – no apologies.
Same sex partners and the hyperactive level of play we can engage in gives us very specific needs and risk factors our doctor needs to be always on the lookout for. Our risk group has a common list of specific health conditions that we need periodic testing to find and find early. Many of us even need a routine scheduled check-in for STI testing for example.
People with HIV and other acquired conditions that have to be managed by a practice that knows what they’re doing and does so in a positive advocative way. Adding to that we should have a doctor who is versed in preventative measures like PrEP, DoxyPEP and up to speed on how navigate you to them regardless of your financial place in the world.
A Matter Of Life And Death
For those of us who live the life vibrant in the bedroom, public play spaces or perhaps even work it for a living, having a medial partner we can rely on with our journey isn’t just icing on the cake. To get the most our of our medical professionals we need to be able to talk in detail about our practices so they can better pinpoint issues that come up.
It’s on us too. We have to learn to get over our fears, our need to play it close to the vest and be brutally honest with our doctor. If they ask you how many men you’ve fucked or sucked in the last month, answer the question. If they want to know if you top or bottom, tell them the truth. “Oh by the way I was being a total pig with group of guys at a play party last week and it wasn’t entirely a sterile situation.”
We need to be able to talk to our doctor candidly about these things, we need to be vulnerable and honest, we need to trust them with our truths. The last sentence might be the most important thing I’ve said here. A sex positive doctor cannot help us and pinpoint medical conditions that have the power to kill us if we don’t confide in them. That’s our job, not theirs.
Pick Your Practice Based On You
Gay men have specific health risks apart from the general population as do Lesbian couples. People in the Trans community have a very specific set of needs, knowledge base and practice offerings. Depending on who we are, our bodies and chemistry all differ and our unique sex practices bring a different palette of potential pitfalls our doctors need to focus on.
When you choose your practice, get a good feel about who the principals are, who the practitioners are and to what level they embrace your values. Do they promote inclusivity, sex positive care, do they walk the talk when it comes to supporting you for who you are.
You don’t want a creepy cold fish that looks down on you for being who you are and scowls when you bring them your latest medical problem they judge to be your own damn fault. Don’t go there. Life is too short. You need a real partner.
Advice From Those In The Know
Yes the online review sites, medical blogs and such are fabulous. They will have great mainstream advice to add in with all I have said here.
Nothing however beats getting in touch with your local LGBTQ+ health center, HIV clinic, or outreach organization to get advice or even a referral. The LGBTQ+ sex positive doctor I’ve been with for over seven years was found at the recommendation of a non-profit PrEP navigator who suggested I give them a try. For me it was golden advice as I was recently out of the closet and had no clue. I thank God for that man landing in my path.
Connect with LGBTQ+ people in your area who are active in the outreach and health community, ask them. If you are a member or adjacent to a fetish group, ask them. Even at bars and clubs ask people who share your sexual pursuits who they recommend. I mean, ask a gay with a drink in hand their advice you will get no shortage of it. More often than not, the higher level organizations will be a good first start though.
The Point
Get honest with yourself about who you are, what you do and how often you do it. Recognize you might have needs and parameters for your health care that go beyond what the online directory of your health insurance or medicare provider is pointing you to. You have a choice, you only live once. Choose an advocate.
Smoker of fine tires, eater of natural foods, connoisseur of aromatic leathers, pusher of limits.