Most people who know me today are shocked to hear that much of my teenage and adult life I weighed over 300 pounds. I never exercised or gave any thought to what and how much I ate. Into my early 40s there were a myriad of little health problems increasingly making life uncomfortable. About 14 years ago all of this changed for me and it can for you too.
The Life Long Struggle
Like most people who struggle with being overweight I had lost lots of weight then gained it back multiple times over 30 years. I did the Nutrisystem thing in the 80s and later in the 90s. Then I did a liquid diet thing. They all worked to lose 60-100 pounds but I eventually would gain it back over time.
At age 43 I was back up in weight at around 310 pounds when my mother passed away suddenly. This left my elderly father who had been suffering from a great many health problems without a daily caregiver. He was soon moved from out of state closer to where my siblings and I could help.
I was suddenly exposed to the reality of his several health problems related to a lifetime of being overweight and sedentary – much like I was at the time. He had diabetic neuropathy and suffered from sores and legions on his legs that had to be cared for daily. He had high blood pressure, heart problems, and several other lifestyle related health maladies. He was chair bound and lived a miserable physical existence.
One day while visiting him and tending to his leg dressings it hit me like a freight train that I was going to be exactly in the same place if I continued living the way I was. If I got to live as long, I could be forced to live in a wheelchair, sick and in pain, others needing to care for me around the clock just as my family and I were doing for him.
I Didn’t Want To Be This Guy
Call it self interest. Call it vanity. Call it what you want. I call it a psychic change, a spiritual experience. I came to the overwhelming conclusion that day that to live long and happy, I would need my health. I would need to lose weight, get fit, eat healthy. I would need to change everything.
In that spring in 2012 I embarked on a long journey to lose weight and get healthy at all costs. There was no magic bullet, no secret product to buy, and no weird tricks to click and learn about on YouTube. It was quite frankly about changing every aspect of my lifestyle one piece at a time and not giving up on it for any reason.
Into Action
It didn’t happen overnight. Losing 135 pounds a little over two years of changing my every diet habit drastically and sticking to it. I had to study online and learn about things like carbs and gluten, protein and starches – why they matter. I had to learn to draw boundaries with family and friends and say no to what they were eating and how much. I had to be a bit of a precious bitch at times.
As the weight came off, I had to keep changing it up. About one year into progressive and consistent weight loss I hit a wall. My daily caloric intake and my metabolism decided to be happy where it was at. I had to readjust and start eating less or start burning more calories to push my body back into weight loss.
I introduced mild exercise of walking 10-15 minutes a day as it was all I could handle at still 250 pounds. Weight started coming off again but some time later I hit the wall again and began upping the exercise to jogging a couple miles a day. With less weight to carry along, It was easier now to exercise harder. Weight started coming off again.
Two years in I had lost that 135 pounds. The 46 waist size had shrunk to 32. My shirt size went from 3X to Medium. I was skinnier, more energetic and was more attuned to exercise. I finally joined a gym which I had previously hated the idea of.
I needed to start toning up my muscles because having lost all that weight, my skin was loose and hanging off my bones. I felt like I looked like a frozen chicken – that vanity thing again. The loose skin issue for me is a topic for another article really, but building and toning up my muscle structure over time went a long way to compensating.
I never quite made it to the physique of the Instagram hotshots and gym rats we so often idealize but I finally came to look in the mirror and smile at myself. I eventually became confident to go to a public beach or pool without a T-Shirt on. I can walk into a public play pen with other gay men with confidence.
Progress Not Perfection
As this is written I weigh in at 175 pounds which has been my long set point target give or take. I used to run 4-5 miles a day but about seven years ago my knees started to protest. I bought a bike and found a way to keep a form of cardio in the mix, and started using the treadmills or elliptical machines at the gym when weather does not permit an outdoor jaunt.
I still have to work vigilantly to maintain my target weight. What I have come to understand is that minus exercise and constant attention to my dietary intake, my body’s metabolism is such that it wants to add on weight. Period. I am different than “most people” who can eat all they want and still look like a model. I’ve come to know it, accept it, and live around the reality.
Because of various life, career, and schedule changes I am not able to be the daily gym rat I once was. While I maintain my target weight, my muscle tone isn’t where it was at a few years back when I could work out daily.
My program is not entirely perfect by any standard but I am miles healthier physically, mentally and spiritually as a result of these long term deliberate lifestyle changes than I was 300+ pounds in the second photo above.
Dividends Of Continued Progress
If it all sounds like an overwhelming undertaking, know a few things. Each little victory along the path pays off huge benefits in self esteem, self worth and in your confidence level. The feeling you get when you can shop for a nicer selection of new clothes in the “normal person’s section” instead of the “big and tall” area in the back of the store is better than any drug.
Keep going though because the physical benefits of losing 135 pounds for me were enormous. All those little ailments I had like chronic back aches, migraine headaches, night sweats, sleep apnea, ongoing digestive issues, foot swelling – they almost all just went away with the weight.
They say you do something for a week, it becomes a habit. You do something for a year it becomes a lifestyle. It’s baby steps. We become what we walk toward in this life. If you keep taking steps toward a goal and don’t stop, you will get there.
Going back to the beginning of my journey, it started with a psychic change that motivated me to take action. We have to want something bad enough for ourselves to work for it every day. In my case it was self interest in wanting to live longer and be healthier in golden years.
Through the path it also became about personal appearance and yes vanity. I work on the public stage, I wanted to look good – no apologies.
You can do it just as I have. It doesn’t have to be perfect every day, it doesn’t have to be everything all at once. Just ask yourself what can I do right now, today. Then start by asking the Google how. Keep doing it one day at a time, over and over. One day you will wake and realize how far you’ve come.
Smoker of fine tires, eater of natural foods, connoisseur of aromatic leathers, pusher of limits.