You’ve scrolled through the haystack and found your needle, now it’s time to set up a meet. Now it’s time to go through the checklist of how do I get to him or have him over in the safest way possible. Here is our best collection of best practices for getting together with that new stud and living to tell the tale.
Inform Someone Of What, Where, & When
• Share your plans with a trusted person about the location, time, and who you’re meeting. Ask them to check in with you at some point after.
• Take a profile screenshot of the person you’re meeting and share with trusted person beforehand.
• Share your live location with a trusted person via GPS mapping features on your phone.
• You may even have a friend go along to the place and be present with or adjacent to you.
Choose a Public Place To Meet First
It’s safest to first meet a stranger in a well-lit, busy restaurant, bar, or coffee shop, with security cameras – rather than a secluded location you are unfamiliar with. A place that is gay-friendly is a good idea. Bad actors will usually resist meeting in such places and try to get you alone and away from help.
If you are just planning to get right down to sex, try meeting at a gay men’s sauna or play-space the first time where there are witnesses, lockers to store belongings, and again security cameras. This is a great way to go especially if you don’t have a trusted friend you can have check-up on you before or after a hook-up. Best of all, you can escape the situation and play with others if it doesn’t work out.
In almost any case, you are taking a significant risk going to someone’s home, having them over, or meeting them in a secluded location if they are not a known quantity to you in some way.
Trust Your Gut Instinct
If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable at any point, don’t hesitate to leave or cut the date short – even if it feels awkward or embarrassing. If something seems off, don’t meet him in the first place. Even if you can’t put your finger on what exactly the guy is doing, pass him over. There will always be more men.
Don’t Drink or Use Drugs To Excess
Be mindful of your alcohol or drug use as it can impair judgment and make you vulnerable. Being drunk or high can shut your gut instinct down and keep you from picking up on red flag warnings that you’re in danger or that something’s off. If you’re in a blackout or too blasted, you are vulnerable to situations and a to bad actors you might never let yourself be close to when sober.
Avoid Unfamiliar, Secluded & Sketchy Locations
Sometimes we want it bad enough to take some risks. But never go into a dark and secluded area by yourself, a place you are entirely foreign to, or a location known to be dangerous. While meetups in parks, out in nature and dark hidden corners of the city can be the sexual fuel of fantasy they can also be deadly. The best dick in the world just isn’t worth putting yourself in a position where you cannot get away, cannot be heard, or may be hard to find.
Be Cautious Of Anonymous Come And Go Scenes
A favorite hookup scenario common to gay dating apps is the, “door unlocked, face down, ass up, come and go” scene. The person hosting is waiting sometimes blindfolded usually in a dark or unlit hotel room or in a bedroom down the hallway in their home. You’re invited to walk up and enter without knocking, drain your nut and leave. Often you never even see a face, say a word, or know who it is. It can be sexy and enticing for both parties into the thrill and anonymity of it but can be fraught with danger for both of you.
If you’re traveling: It’s best you know or trust this person and be familiar with the location. Know you are going to the right address. If you randomly walk into a stranger’s house unannounced, there are some states where they can legally take lethal action including shooting you with a gun with “stand your ground” laws. If this person has harmful intent and laying a trap, you would walking right into it. If you accidentally let yourself into the wrong house, well all bets are off. Always insist to knock at the door and be let in, if you are going to be doing this.
If you are hosting: Be careful about who you invite over and let into your home anonymously. It might turn you on, but it can be extremely dangerous and even deadly. Aside the vulnerability of personal harm, you risk strangers casing your home for theft or stealing from you on the spot.
Always try to have a friend or wing-man present who answers the door and leads visiting tops to you. If you are advertising yourself on a dating app for an “all come event”, having a greeter is perfectly appropriate and not weird at all. If you can’t have help, at the very least have some kind of security cameras in play at your residence.
Have an Escape Plan
• Consider having an exit strategy, such as a friend or a nearby establishment where you can easily leave if you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
• Keep your phone charged and with you at all times in the event you have to call for a ride or for help.
• Don’t rely on your date for transportation. Arrange your own ride to and from the meet-up to maintain control and safety.
Have A Self-Defense Plan
• Consider learning some self-defense techniques or take other measures for added protection.
• Carry some form of appropriate and legal protection with you.
• Never willingly get in a vehicle or go somewhere with people under threat or against your will. Fight, yell, run, scream, break things. The fight to prevent being taken is less dangerous that what might await you if taken somewhere else.
Smoker of fine tires, eater of natural foods, connoisseur of aromatic leathers, pusher of limits.